We tag on

I was tagged by Purely Narcotic- so here it goes. Thought of Led Zeppelin or The Beatles- but Alice in Chains was interesting indeed. Thanks for the suggestion Narco I would have a hard time picking up one band.

Instructions read Using only song *titles* from one artist, cleverly answer these questions

Pick a band/artist: Alice in Chains

1. Are you a male or female: Queen of the rodeo

2. Describe yourself: Social parasite (anti- social)

3. How do you feel about yourself: Head creeps

4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Sickman/bleed the freak (how I wish I could )

5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Swing on this

6. Describe your current location: Sea of sorrow (it sure is depressing as…)

7. Describe where you want to be: Heaven, beside you (you know who )

9. Your favorite color is: dirt/frogs

10. You know that: It ain’t like that

11. What’s the weather like: Sludge Factory

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: the killer is me /got me wrong

13. What is life to you: A little bitter

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Don’t follow ( How I wish)

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Whale and the wasp

Anyone who is interested consider yourself tagged.

Manufacturing defect

If I be a hippo I wouldn’t have to worry about all the mud that is slung across to me. because we hippos like to roll around in mud you know. Ever heard of a delicate hippo with skin allergies and skin that is easily susceptible to damage? What happened to divine design? I demand my money back.

P.S: Fake hides anyone?

On staying away

Why does one need to assert their superiority to anyone, when nobody is contesting it? What happened to being open- minded and respecting other people’s views- however dumb or incoherent they may sound to you?

Maybe, its insecurity. I am guilty of doing that too but that’s all water under the bridge now.

Nice matters you know.

Fish and hips

Are fish sexy? Sure mermaids are sexy. But what about them other fish in the sea? We plan to make them sexy too. We are for reservations in sexy for all those deadly sharks and them powerful whales. Whales are beautiful and powerful. We can surely rock the boat or a whole ship. And them sharks dripping with awesome coolethness can bite anyone’s head off.

So let’s rock the boat, go bite and have a sexy party as Stewie Griffin would say.

There is something about fishy coming this saturday to a watering pool near you.

Jokicide happened.

The new coinage “jokicide[1]” will be explained with said example:
Pom’s status message on gtalk read – Want to have coffee with P. So bored me responds saying “what are you a modern coffee loving version of Morarji Desai?[2]” he doesn’t get it. He says, why and how come. I say coffee with P(ee) it seems. Pom is still confused by the reference- he continues to ask but why Morarji Desai? I lose my cool and say P as in pee- PEE IN YOUR COFFEE- now do you get it? He doesn’t so I just put up an emoticon and say damn you – you killed my joke. He goes on to explain P is woman still being clueless about the said reference. I lose it and just then brutal Jokicide happened. Sigh.
Jakaal [3] is a mass grave for many such jokes. They were killed by being brutally torn apart bit by bit when they were not gotten by the receiver and had to be explained. What to do? ‘Tis sad indeed.

1. Jokicide- the killing of a joke.
2. Morarji Desai as legend has it would drink his own urine
3. What we affectionately call the workplace.

No room for improvement!

The main reason I resent lissano and emo atyacharjee, next door is because they have a bigger room; we fucking pay the same rent. Not fair I say. I don’t know you, I don’t want to know you – I don’t want to be friends with you just because you are my flatmates. And you just remember I stay here too so maybe you could make some space in the fridge for me. You are not the only people in the house you know and you sure do act like it.
Today you guys crossed all limits – Queen emo atyacharjee has her whole courtroom with the jesters and her cabinet follow her around and they usually eat, sleep etc and basically hang around OUR flat! One of the clinger-ons actually asked my roommate to not lock our room. Damn you woman – you have a house go there and study.
Do I ever ask for your friend’s room? No. I don’t. Some of us have some fucking decency. I have been saddled with the tiniest room in the house but do I ever wander across to your room? Hell no! I feel suffocated sharing it with someone. Do I ever come and sit in your room? I keep to myself in my room when am home so next time don’t ask for my room damn it!
And Moserella, I am so pissed off with you- it was not just your room to give away to someone! Wtf, I mean it is my room too! I don’t buy the excuse that she wanted to study. She doesn’t even live in the freaking house damn it! Let her go to her own house and study or prance around. You give away my books and now this- really learn to respect other people’s things. I don’t like them (the clinger-ons) being there- really this is the limit- I have privacy/ possession issues- don’t test me woman. Don’t ask for my bucket too – I don’t care if it will be put to use by someone at least. You will pick out the last straw one of these days and heaven or whatever you believe in help you then… You know what guys if I would have found another place I would have gladly moved- let’s live and let live and not interfere with each others lives for now, ok? Is that too much to ask? Give me some space damn it. Stay away from my damn room and keep your scumy hands off all things that are mine.

One jealousy supreme coming right up!

We have given up our usual bouts of the blues for the greens lately. I still sulk but deep within me there is a nasty green brew stirring and it is ghastly.

The brat, who usually manages photos that are cute, fun and playful – has a new avatar. She manages to look elegant in her most recent pictures- initially I was happy that my baby sister posing with a glass of champagne and a real classy dress could pull it off. I even dedicated my facebook status message to her. But deep inside I turned a shade that was close to the colour of her dress- deadly radioactive green, was my colour.

I am jealous of colleagues, I am jealous of friends- and I am stupid enough to tell them so and they look at me like some freak with her underwear on her head. I don’t know what to do. I know it’s not malicious- I just don’t have anything to be proud of now. Anyone care to offer an analysis?

Lolita,Layoffs lalalalala

We are glad that phankee girl and muzz will not be made to slip on the pink but have been shifted to another department with odd work hours. Lolita who got laid usually by the faggot (yeah speculation but you wouldn’t know better, now would you?) got laid -off. Note to all office sluts/ kittens – in the times of recession you need to do more than play coochie-coo with the higher-ups. The extra perks are considered unnecessary in times like these so you need to do more than just look pretty (make that slutty) and show up for work.

Lolita has landed a job at a very prestigious British news organization; we can’t believe it for she can’t do much and thought that Victoria was a prominent writer in the Victorian era. So much for her British. So the bets are on for how many people she had to get through (or under) to land the ever so envious post or may they were hiring for the post of office slut. Yes, many here will giver her letters of recommendations and will praise her services in that department.

The other day we were eating ice-cream to nullify the after effects of the previous night’s revelery. ( apparently Mr. Orange Smirnoff and Old Monk don’t get along). There I was innocently enjoying the ice-cream on an extremely uneventful V-day and Lolita treads by and makes herself a little too comfy on one of the chairs. Lolita suddenly sits there and does a Sharon Stone from basic instinct and we were flashed! We got caught in the accidental cross-fire- it was intended for a male colleague who was with us. Can I sue for sexual harassment? I was flashed by the kitten and that too on V-day. Argh.

The same day we were informed of phankee’s and muzz’s transfer tour section of the zoo, we received a letter from one of the other people who had been laid off – romeo, was a real nice guy- everybody thought so and his supposed fuck you all – I got a job at a better paper mail sounded sickengly sweet. He said the whole paper was great and kept saying jai ho *insert name of the paper*. I was one of the few people who sensed some sarcasm in the mail as he signed with his new designation and the name of the paper that he was working at, this ensured a chain re-action at the zoo-esk- his luber, silk smitha, went on leave indefinitely and her friend pink tart quit because she’s getting married or whatever. Pink tart quitting was a surprise because she was the maggot and the faggot’s pet. A shake of that pink posterior of hers and she got anything she wanted and hence muzz and phankee were transfered saved from the axe by this chain reaction of events.

P.S: I am blogging because I now will have to take care of the blogging feature at work – so i decided to give my poor neglected blog some loving.

( this was typed ages ago- just posting it now)

Nine months

I guess the gestation period is over and I find myself stuck in the birth canal waiting for the final push. It shows no signs of coming with the complications like recession in the picture. Will all my dreams and aspiration be DOA? Till then am stuck in a limbo- waiting to be born, waiting to be free- waiting for an end or a new beginning.

It has not been smooth sailing so far but here we are nine months down the line – demanding change and in the grips of uncertainty. Big fish in a small muddy puddle- I want out. I am very comfortable here and want to get out before I put down roots.

P.S : someone please hire me!

When horny met despo?

I don’t have the permission from all parties who were involved in this text conversation to post this but I am bored – so here it is! I will however promise to put down the text as it was and will not edit – just wont drop names. Hurray to cloak of anonymity!

This is a conversation between Giggly Stud and the Bitch:

Giggly Stud: Ola… How’s Luck By Chance?

Bitch: The story sounds decent but I haven’t got the review, yet. Ola? Is that retard for hello? Where do you learn these words from, boy?

Giggly Stud: hehehehehe ya.. and Ola is my word too its patented fat lil bitch lol

Bitch: Ola is Mexican, So I guess someone was watching Mexican porn- that where you picked it from right? And how can I be both fat and little? You dumbass

Giggly Stud: Hahhahahaha .. That’s a double whammy : ) LOL talking about porn how many pounds have you lost so that I can pound you : )

Bitch: I will pound you instead, I am very good at boxing! Lost a few pounds unhealthily though! Now, will go slow. What you been upto to lately?

Giggly Stud: Heh : ) Ya I don’t mind you pounding me or otherwise it’s the same .. LOL : ) become like your lil sis then I’ll pound you…

Anyways been up to nothing much.. just studying, getting some stuff published in some international journals so was working on that

Bitch: my sis is a stick and I have curves! So phew I can never be that so you wont pound me busy? You’re not replying on Gtalk, so ok then will insult/bug ya later Ciao

Giggly Stud: hehehehe : ) curves are good, flab is not LOL LOL pound you I will.. just lose enough

Shit! What did you send on Gtalk? My bro is using my laptop LOL : )

Bitch: I just asked how your BF was and asked about your sex life and also asked if you told you told your folks about being gay. Bwhahahah now I can blackmail you, hmm what do I type next?

Giggly Stud: Bitch! You nasty lil whore : ) Why are you doing this LOL : )

Bitch : just you’re all talk and what are you gonna pound me for? Going to a bar and drinking?

Giggly Stud: no : ) pound you elsewhere with something else LOL LOL : )

Bitch: sorry but you can’t pound me – I am not into bestiality

Giggly Stud: Hehehehe , me neither that’s why I want you to lose weight I don’t do hippos

Bitch: on the other hand nothing can change your monkey/ donkey status you can hope to evolve in the next 1000 years or so but even that’s not certain

Giggly Stud: LOL : ) ok.. anyways fat ass me gonna go now : ) tata study time

Any observations about the two specimens? Please free to let the author of this blog know… and about the identity of the people involved in this conversation – no comments!